Monday, March 3, 2008

Cruel baby names - A to M

I wasn't able to verify that all of the names on this list have actually been bestowed by parents in real life, but if only a fraction of them have, there are some very unlucky kids out there who have a lifetime of teasing to look forward to.

I mean, c'mon parents! I'm all for originality, but some names are just too weird to force your children to go through life with!

Judge for yourself:

  • @

  • 4Real

  • Aanisah (child of Macy Gray****)

  • Abcde

  • Abyss

  • Alban

  • Aeris

  • Almond

  • American

  • Amidala

  • Annabee

  • Apple (daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow****)

  • Areley

  • Arsenal (36 boys and girls in the UK named this since 1984**)

  • Armani (298 girls were named this in 2001 & 265 boys were named this in 2003*)

  • Astrella Celeste****

  • Aryan Justice

  • Atherton Grace (child of Don Johnson****)

  • Audio Science****

  • Aurelius Cy (child of Elle Macpherson****)

  • Autumn Sullivan Corbett Fitzsimmons Jeffries Hart Burns Johnson Willard Dempsey Tunney Schmeling Sharkey Carnera Baer Braddock Louis Charles Walcott Marciano Patterson Johansson Liston Clay Frazier Foreman Brown (this little girl was given these 25 middle names because her parents are obsessed with boxing!)

  • Barbie Doll (this creative name was given to a boy!)

  • Barker

  • Bewilder

  • Bich

  • Blaze

  • Bleach

  • Bleu Barrie

  • Blue (27 boys in 2001*)

  • Blue Angel****

  • Bluebell Madonna (child of Geri Halliwell****)

  • Bob Geraldo (a girl!)

  • Bologna (1 child received this name in 2000*)

  • Bong Huit

  • Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116

  • Briony

  • Brook Rainbow Trout

  • Calico (child of Alice Cooper****)

  • Camera****

  • Canon (in 2001 there were 49 boys given this name*)

  • Cappuccino

  • Cassius (child of Macy Gray)

  • Chay

  • Chevy

  • Chardynay Zynfindel

  • CiLeyna

  • Cinnamon Spice

  • Cinsere

  • Coco Watermelon

  • Confession

  • Crikala

  • Dah'Zelle

  • Dakakamame Madaziana Mijuji Jones (when she was 19 she had her name legally changed to Diane May Jones)

  • Dalena

  • Daisy Boo (child of Jamie Oliver****)

  • Daniboi

  • Ddiinniiaa-Kaatee

  • December March

  • Del Monte

  • Depressed Cupboard Cheesecake (a child in Kent, England was named this)

  • Destry (child of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw****)

  • Devil

  • Diezel Ky****

  • Digby

  • Easter

  • Ender

  • Enola

  • ESPN

  • Female

  • Fergal

  • Fifi Trixibell (child of Bob Geldof****)

  • Flavian Bonderer

  • Flick

  • Formicadinette

  • Friday

  • Fuchsia (child of Sting****)

  • Gaia (child of Emma Thompson****)

  • Galahad

  • Gandalf (6 boys in the UK**)

  • Gene Pool

  • GoldenPalaceDotCom (The Golden Palace Casino paid a couple to name their newborn after its website)

  • Gouda (1 child received this name in 2000*)

  • Grei Pillows

  • Grynnon Barrett

  • Gulliver (child of Gary Oldman****)

  • Halston (10 boys in 2001*)

  • Ham

  • Happy

  • Harley Quinn (daughter of director Kevin Smith and named after the villain in Batman)

  • Heaven****

  • Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily****

  • Heranaldo

  • Honeychyld

  • Hopper (child of Sean Penn and Robin Wright****)

  • Ignatious

  • Innocent

  • Ikea

  • Iola

  • Ireland (child of Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger****)

  • Jagger Ramone

  • J-Me

  • Jago

  • Jazz Domino****

  • Jellyfish

  • Joybubbles

  • Jermajesty (child of Jermaine Jackson****)

  • Jythsaint

  • Kal-El Coppola (son of Nicholas Cage and named after Superman whose birth-name was Kal-El****)

  • Karizyma

  • Kohinoor

  • Kosmos Shiva

  • Kyd (child of David Duchovny and Tea Leoni****)

  • Laban

  • Lake Avalon

  • Lagathia

  • Latrina

  • Lexus (200 baby girls received this name in 2003*)

  • London Emilio****

  • Loftus Archibald

  • Luna Coco Patricia****

  • Mabon

  • Majella

  • MaKellaney

  • Marquise (child of 50 Cent****)

  • Matrix (an Estonian boy named after the movie of the same name. Shortly after, a law was enacted by Estonian parliament to prevent further naming of children after celebrities, misspellings and cultural references.)

  • Maximus (699 boys in 2003*)

  • Mazing Doude

  • Memphis Eve (child of Bono****)

  • Metallica

  • Messiah

  • Morpheus (in 2001, 5 boys got this one*)

  • Moxie CrimeFighter (child of Penn Jillette****)

  • Moon Unit (daughter of Frank Zappa****)

  • Mystaque
Any favorites so far?

Tune in tomorrow for Cruel baby names - N to Z!

* According to U.S. Social Security Administration
** According to
Find My Past
***According to the
Victorian Registry of Births
**** According to Times Online's
50 craziest celebrity baby names

2 comments:

Tina said...

I actually knew a family in school that had the last name Bird and did the stupid thing of naming their kids Robin and Jay.

Grace said...

Whats wrong with the name Majella, i thought that was common enough?

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