Wednesday, June 29, 2011

25 things I've learned from kids


(timsamoff / CC BY-ND 2.0)

1
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.

2
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3
A 3-year old boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.

It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room.

5
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.

A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6
The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9
A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old man says it can only be done in the movies.

10
Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old boy.

11
"Play dough" and "microwave" should not be used in the same sentence.

12
Super glue is forever.

13
No matter how much jelly you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14
Pool filters do not like jelly.

15
VCRs do not eject sandwiches.

16
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18
You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20
The fire department has a 5-minute response time.

21
The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22
It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24
Raw eggs and semi-digested cheese stick to walls and ceilings very well.

25
80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

(via: Bits of Wisdom)

Previously on Lists Galore!
I resign from adulthood

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Monday, June 27, 2011

Playing favorites


(ginnerobot / CC BY-SA 2.0)

Obama's 5 favorite movies — and what they say about him
David Lynch's 5 favorite sandwiches
Our six favorite fictional holidays
6 of LBJ's favorite things
10 famous, inspirational leaders and their favorite books
Top 10 favourite cartoons as a kid
Top 10 favorite cheesy dishes
10 favorite TV theme songs
The origins of 10 of your favorite Muppets
Our 15 favorite Tina Fey TV moments
Famous last words: our 20 favorite final lines in literature
Quentin Tarantino's twenty favorite movies since 1992
26 queens of the castle: our favorite TV housewives
Favorite food rules
Favorite sci-fi flicks of all time — pre-Star Wars
Favorite sci-fi flicks of all time — Star Wars and after
How to drink like your favorite authors
Our favorite vampires
What our favorite TV characters read
Your favorite characters as Facebook avatars

Previously on Lists Galore!
11 ways to get more bacon into your diet

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Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Life's little instructions


(Sister72 / CC BY 2.0)

Sing in the shower.
Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
Watch a sunrise at least once a year.
Leave the toilet seat in the down position.
Never refuse homemade brownies.
Strive for excellence, not perfection.
Plant a tree on your birthday.
Learn 3 clean jokes.
Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full.
Compliment 3 people every day.
Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
Leave everything a little better than you found it.
Keep it simple.
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
Floss your teeth.
Ask for a raise when you think you've earned it.
Overtip breakfast waitresses.
Be forgiving of yourself and others.
Say, "Thank you" a lot.
Say, "Please" a lot.
Avoid negative people.
Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards.
Wear polished shoes.
Remember other people's birthdays.
Commit yourself to constant improvement.
Carry jumper cables in your truck.
Have a firm handshake.
Send lots of Valentine cards.
Sign them, "Someone who thinks you're terrific."
Look people in the eye.
Be the first to say hello.
Use the good silver.
Return all things you borrow.
Make new friends, but cherish the old ones.
Keep a few secrets.
Sing in a choir.
Plant flowers every spring.
Have a dog.
Always accept an outstretched hand.
Stop blaming others.
Take responsibility for every area of your life.
Wave at kids on school busses.
Be there when people need you.
Feed a stranger's expired parking meter.
Don't expect life to be fair.
Never underestimate the power of love.
Drink champagne for no reason at all.
Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation.
Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."
Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."
Compliment even small improvements.
Keep your promises no matter what.
Marry for love.
Rekindle old friendships.
Count your blessings.
Call your mother.

~ Author Unknown

Previously on Lists Galore!
Instructions for life

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